[Intro]
Hello Hello, Kitty, hello, dear friend
Your smile is pretty like a flower that's in bloom
Love is in your heart, and sings a happy tune
Hello, Hello Kitty, play with us today
Hello Kitty says you can never have too many—

[Verse]
Friends! Well, bitch, I’ve got none
No one's no fun, they all think I’m dumb
Rotting away in my party of one
And I honestly can’t tell you the last time I saw the sun
Like Hello Kitty, got no worries in a fantasy land
Instead I’m dragging out each day, pulling my hair out strand by strand
One day I’m gonna get stretched too hard and snap like a rubber band
I wonder if this will get better, people do say that it can

[Chorus]
I can teach you how to be just like me
Crying all night, sleeping 'til three
I can teach you how to be just like me
Just listen carefully
I can teach you how to be just like me
Cute as Hello Kitty
I can teach you how to be just like me
Just listen carefully
[Bridge]
Kitty, she’s my favorite friend (she’s my only friend)
I know no matter who abandons me, she’ll be there 'til the end
And I know when the world's in flames
She’ll take my hand and rescue me out of this shitty place
She keeps me warm, stitch me up when I get torn
Be the light amidst the storm, hail Kitty, she’s so adorned
I don’t believe in much but if there’s one thing that I trust
If there’s a higher being, it must be her, she’s never unjust

[Chorus]
I can teach you how to be just like me
Crying all night, sleeping 'til three
I can teach you how to be just like me
Just listen carefully
I can teach you how to be just like me
Cute as Hello Kitty
I can teach you how to be just like me
Just listen carefully