[Verse 1]
I once had a sweetheart the fairest of maidens
She outshined all others that I'd known by far
I had a friend a big fella named Big Harlan Taylor
Harlan had a rubber tired new shiny car

[Refrain]
Oh, the ways of the world and the wants of a woman
If I figured them all out it would take many years

[Verse 2]
By the wants of a woman she fell for Big Harlan
I tried but in vain for to take my own life
Suddenly I had lost all my will to keep living
She'd lost her desire to become my young wife

[Refrain]
Oh, the ways of the world and the wants of a woman
If I figured them all out it would take many years

[Verse 3]
Well I wanted revenge and waylaid for Big Harlan
Then I started wondering what good would it do
If a rubber tired new shiny car's her ambition
Then I'll just let her have it and Big Harlan too
[Refrain]
Oh, the ways of the world and the wants of a woman
If I figured them all out it would take many years
If I figured them all out it would take many years