[Verse 1]
Well I’m Playboy S-H-O-R-T
I rap so fresh to the funky beat
I’m always here, the Oakland player
Breakin’ young freaks, baby, I don’t care
I was born to mack, I don’t care what you think
I’m young and fresh and havin’ bank
Too $hort, baby, cold as hell
Down to rap, and so for real
I’m never fake when I break ‘cause I sho’ can rap
Sucka MC’s acknowledge that
I’ll be a star, you’ll be my fan
I’ll treat you like my woman putting bank in my hands
Just an everyday thang from the big O vet
All the players out here tell you that’s no sweat
Rollin’ two-tones, baby, day and night
And I don’t stop rappin’ when I’m on the mic
All the young girls scream, “Short, don’t stop”
Got 75 waitin’ back in my drop
Me and Chic pullin’ freaks from near and far
Even pulled a few freaks for my bodyguard
Eight deep in a limo, jammin’ the beat
Rollin’ on back to the O city
On a one-way trip, if you catch my drift
Straight to the house for the homie’s fix
Too Short baby, on the go
To all you freaks, I know you know
Get busy, or get lost
‘Cause if you come with the crew, you’re tossed
Sittin’ back, she likes my body
I kick on back while I watch her mount me
I come fresh every time I speak
Right at my show, see me pullin’ a freak
I’m gettin’ busy, forget the junk
Too Short baby gotta get that funk
Like a champ in the back, just opened the roof
No champagne, drink gin and juice
There’s a freak show jumpin’ on the old Bay Bridge
Too Short baby all on that bitch
I’m a veteran, baby, in this game
And Too Short baby that is my name
I don’t stop these raps when I’m on the mic
I spit it hard and fresh all day and night
So check it out baby ‘cause it just won’t stop
Too Short baby
She’s a fast mouth bitch, broke ass bitch
Walking around town with a vicious itch
I heard you started hookin’ – where’s your pimp?
Tryin’ to get a hit and ain’t got ten cents
You work all day, so you smoke all night
You know it’s not right but that’s your life
You just steal from your mother, breaking your broad
You think you’re down but you really ain’t hard
Fake mic singer, but you ain’t that
You’re a lowdown, no good dirty rat
So you smoke for a hit and then come right back
You wanna start smoking and only get smacked
Too Short baby, I make G’s
I work leather suits when it’s 90 degrees
See me sweatin’ like a pig, but I’m not trippin’
Jumped in the Benz with the air condition
Turn on the beat and wiggle my toes
And rock that bitch like brand new Vogues
Might saddle up, might ride it tough
But before I'm finished, I will get rough
I’m from the E the S the O, and yes
Freak nasty, I am so fresh
People might tell you I can’t rap
But I roll Benz and my bank is fat
Since I was born, I wanted to be a player
Now I got young freaks everywhere
I’m the M-the A-the C-the K
The truest young player in the USA
Too Short baby, you know I’m hard
Your girl tried to choose me and I dogged the broad
Keep telling yourself couldn’t be like that
But the bitch so sprung on a Too Short rap
I could do what I want, just do what I please
I walk through the door and she’s down on her knees
Players like me play it just like that
My game jumps off and I don’t step back
Too Short baby, on the mic
And I tell ya like this, I’ll tell you right
I’m the Playboy Short, big mack on the mic
Every day of my life fresh raps I write
Gonna chill on out where the players chill
Studio piece in the Oakland Hills
From New Year’s Day to New Year’s Eve
You’ll find me here just rockin’ the beat
With my pen in my hand and my headphones on
And right next to me is the microphone
So when I grab that mic, I just get right up
Hit a few raps while I tear shit up
Like Molly the mopper, the big big bopper
I got her in the bed and I just couldn’t stop her
Too Short raps in your fuckin’ face
The beat’s real funky and you feel the bass
You see I made it, played it, and now it’s out
So just kick on back while I tell you about
This freak I met, her name was Mary
I took her to the house and I popped that cherry
She was so willing but she was so tight
I had to work it and I worked it right
Because that’s my nature, I don’t quit
When the funk hits me, you can’t tell me shit
I’m a player, baby, call me Short
I rock D.C. the way I rock New York
You see the Playboy S-H-O-R-T
Will come just ready with a funky beat
You see I rock L.A. then I hit Detroit
‘Cause I’m the MC mack, the real McCoy
I’m not from New York ‘cause I got my start
Coming straight from Oakland and I still rap hard
So before you say it, I’m warning you, watch it
Whenever I rap, homeboy, I rock it
Just two hot, two fresh beats
Sir Too Short in about two weeks
And in L.A., the jam is played
Way past 2 by your favorite DJ
Two times, and then maybe two more
Everybody wanna hear Sir Too Short
So just turn it up loud and I’ll be coming through
And you’ll find out, baby, that it just takes two
Just two hot, two fresh beats
Sir Too Short in about two weeks
I’m the Playboy Short, the ladies man
Doing it twice for all my names
Funk it up, funk it up and have no fear
A young virgin told me wait two years
But I was outta that place in two seconds flat
All it took was two and I rock her back
Punk bitch
[Verse 2]
I took homegirl to a drive-in movie
Jumped in the back and freaked her groupie
Had it going on in the back of the hog
Had the radio on and the windows fogged
Have a girl saying, “Short, give me some more”
It only takes two, cool Sir Too Short
Just one MC all by myself
I said it only takes two and I don’t need help

[Verse 3]
I went to a party – guess who was in it?
Two dumb suckas and in just two minutes
They were on the mic speaking my name
Saying Too Short don’t know the game
But when I got on the mic I said two rhymes
And both of those suckas said “sorry” two times
I couldn’t lie, I tried to be nice
But I just couldn’t help it, I was laughing twice
With just two hot, two fresh beats
Sir Too Short in about two weeks
And the jam is made by one named Too
Fresh as hell and it’s just for you
So just take it, and don’t give it back
‘Cause it’s worth a lot of money with Short on the track
That could only be true, and I have no doubt
It only takes two and I’ll turn you out
BITCH!