Sally was young
And from Southern California
And drifting through
On down to Tennessee

I was bored and I told her
I'd never seen such beauty
She smiled and introduced me
To her girlfriend Sandra Dee

I lied and I tried
My best to convince them
That I was the man
That they should have around

I'll be your boy, your toy
To torture, touch and tease me
So Sandra tied me up
And Sally laid me down

One bed, two girls and three bottles of wine
While I’m kissing hers, the other’s loving mine
If the Devil’s watching, he thinks I’m doing fine
One bed, two girls, three bottles of wine

Oh no, who’s kissing on my toe
Oh wee someone’s chewing on my knee
Oh my, what’s that on my thigh
Oh flip, they’re playing with my...
The grooves, the moves
I had the whole thing going
For 5 minutes I was king of all I see
And then the end came sooner than expected

(Sure, laugh about it
It couldn’t happen to you)

So I laid on the sidelines
Just wishing I’d done better
Or perhaps not drank as much Jagermeister
Or maybe taken a Viagra

Or perhaps paid more attention
To adult movies
When I was younger
So I’d better know how to handle
Such a unique situation

But I didn’t do any of those things
I just laid there
In the shadows
As they continued without me