Blood, Tears and Pain

I slip and I fall, my head hits the concrete

BLOOD spurts, engulfs my face, as Kitty licks, his tongue flicks

My mother rushes in, her expression far from fun-filled

A tear falls from her cheek, it touches my teeth, I try to blink



His needle pierces my head, I wince: it hurts

But I try not to blurt. He smiles: He's touched

I know his name but at the moment, it does not matter

In Argentina, I find myself staring at the altar

They all give offerings but my heart's gone cold

Staring at a platter of gold, their bread is nothing but MOLD

To me. I toe the line between DISBELIEVER and DIVINE

Descending into darkness, ugh! how I hate the light!

I hate it when they smile!

I hate it when the laugh!

I haven't in awhile!

So what reason do they have?

If I could turn my insecurities inside out and paint the world with these impurities

Blood would splatter the hallways, cries calling for security

I stumble around in a daze

Drunk from blood lust- the rage

Sometimes it envelopes...i'm surprised

At how much self-hate really resides

Within



My head is down, my hands on my thighs

I struggle not to cry, I haven't done that in years

But it hurts too much, I can't hold back the TEARS!

A cascade of PAIN! Hot, boiling PAIN

Impeded by my pride:

No Longer Abel/Able, They Shall Call Me Cain



And it all came together in the form of my birthday



Every week, another reason to scream like Billy Mays...

Every week, another reason to scream like Billy Mays...

Every week, another reason to scream like BILLY MAYS...