If you got the money for a rehab cure
You ain't got a problem you can't afford
I was very nearly clean, you know
'Cause I only had twelve steps to go
The only time I'm drink and drug free
Is when I don't have to pay for what I need
That's rare, indeed

If your willpower's weak, temptation's strong
Lord knows how you're gonna get along
But the worst thing about your kind of disease
Is you know who can charge whatever she pleases
It's twenty-eight days for thirteen grand
Better go get myself and insurance plan
She's my man

I ain't got to where I'm going to
By hanging 'round with people like you
But then again, I ain't never got
Anywhere I wanted to get to

I ain't got to where I'm going to
By hanging 'round with people who ain't my friends
But then again, I ain't never got
Anywhere I wanted in the end
If you got the money for a rehab cure
You ain't got a problem you can't afford
I was very nearly clean you know
'Cause I only had twelve steps to go
The only time I'm drink and drug free
Is when I get my drugs and drink for free
That's for me

If your willpower's weak, temptation's strong
Lord knows how we're gonna get along
And I don't think I'm gonna find Jesus Christ
So I'd rather spend my cash on vice
Twenty-eight days for thirteen grand
Better go get myself an insurance plan
She's my man

Do some knitting, get some rest
Group therapy gets me depressed
You might get banned if you relapse
We'll take you back when you got some cash
You're just as likely to find inner peace
By buying your stuff from off the street
Come on, come on

Step one: Kill the fun
Step two: Ain't got a clue
Step three: Get in your tree
Step four: Get out the door
Step five: Get alive
Step six: Yeah, you know
Step seven: Remember six
Step eight: Fuck being straight
Step nine: Get in your bed
Step ten: In bed again
Step eleven: In bed again
Step twelve: Go one back to one
And start, start it over again