(This Track is pure Fiction)

I’ve been teased a few times but it’s been reasonable
See it’s cool, she causes riots when she takes me to school
People drool when she’s walking past. Before class I always laugh
As my friends’ divorced dads ask her for an autograph
On the Streets, cats glance at each other, speak of her
Some even ask my mother to sign her dvd cover
Everybody knows her, every fella probably owns a
Poster of her if he’s aged twenty one and over
The globe is heavy on her shoulders, she carries the weight
Kids get carried away, I couldn’t care what they say
Cause I don’t want another mother, yeah, none can compare
She’s stunning, she’s rare, she’s cunning, she’s mum of the year
She puts men in a frenzy, the pretty woman women envy
She’s willing and caring with me, she’s witty and friendly, I really...
Love her cooking but you don’t know the half
You don’t know better than to fantacize about her ass…

My Mother’s a Porn Star and so what?
It didn’t change shit growing up
She knew how to raise her boy the right way
So fuck whatever you may say…

My mother’s a star, she makes flicks for adults
But don’t think she don’t love my dad. This isn’t a joke
We’ve got moral standards, we a normal family
Living happily… So fuck you and your porno fantacy
She makes sex-tapes and yes, I know they’re X Rated
But she’s never had to be explicit and explain it to me
I don’t care if she’s got a wonderful booty !
What are you on? Truly? I’ve never wanted to watch one of her movies !
My mummy ain’t some friggin’ filthy Hooker
But if we looked close at yours, I’m sure we’d fill a book up
Mine puts money on the table, while your mother is unable
To cope, nasal full of coke, no wonder you’re unstable
Make your silly jokes, huh, keep up the babbling !
At least mine don’t creep around, sleeping with married men
She may get n*** on the cam, but won’t be fooled by a man
She’ll always do what she can to bring loot to her nuclear fam
Chorus +scratches

Yeah
Women judge each other with a look
Men judge a colour and the cover of a book
And I judge the judge that judges my mother
Yeah, I’m a mother’s boy...
So reconsider or go fuck yourself
But don’t take it litteraly you dirty douchebag
Back the fuck off my fam and let us live our normal life. I’ma get back to mine, I’ve gotta go kid
My mum is calling me
I’ve gotta do the washing up
Tera Patrick was over for dinner
And I’m out. The cognac is waiting…

Chorus