[Verse 1]
Well, I must have been stoned when this whole thing started
'Cause I just can't seem to think straight anymore
Can't figure out where I'm at
Maybe Memphis, maybe Mexico
I think you're swell, but I ain't gonna tell you so
I think you're great, but it's late and I'd better go

[Verse 2]
Hitchhike to Rhome
Take a Greyhound to Fredericksburg
Well I'm flat-out broke, I've been smoking butts for days
You say, "Maybe you can stay with me"
I say, "Lady, that's a dangerous plan"
You're quite a woman, but I don't wanna be your man
You're quite a kisser, but listen close and understand

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3]
Take a letter to God
"Dear Sir, I'm dissatisfied
Well it ain't Your fault they keep pouring salt on my heart"
All's I need is a brief reprieve
I keep leaving, I ain't gettin' nowhere
Won't you linger, let me run my fingers through your hair?
Won't you stay? I can play like I don't care
I think you're dope, and I hope I'm making myself clear
I think you're fly, and that's why I'm getting out of here
[Outro]
Well, I must have been stoned
Well, I must have been stoned
Well, I must have been stoned
Good Lord, I wish I'd been stoned