(David Lowery)
Well I'd never sleep with your ex-girlfriend
Even if she starts to flirt with me again
Allow me apologize for my slightly wicked thoughts;
'Cause that's the kind of friend that you've got
(Patterson Hood)
If a fight breaks out and you're the cause of it
In some redneck bar where you've been talking shit
I would not forsake you later in that parking lot
'cause that's the kind of friend that you've got
(Lowery and Hood)
Well through the laughter and the tears
We go stumbling through the years
(Lowery)
A bit dysfunctional well folks might say
(Hood)
Well I've got the dirt on you
(Lowery)
Hey, I've got plenty on you too
(Lowery and Hood)
So I pray we stay together all our days

(Lowery)
So when you're on a date
And you finally bring that girl home
You put a little Captain Beefheart on the stereo
And you disconnect the phone
(Hood)
Then I show up drunk and raving
And then I pass out on the spot
'Cause that's the kind of friend
That you've got
(Lowery)
Well through the laughter and the tears
(Lowery and Hood)
We go stumbling through the years
(Lowery)
A bit dysfunctional well folks might say
(Hood)
You can say that again
(Lowery and Hood)
Well I've got the dirt on you
(Lowery)
Hey, I've got plenty on you too;
(Lowery and Hood)
So I pray we stay together all our days
(Lowery)
Oh dear lord
(Lowery and Hood)
Yeah I pray we stay together all our days