[Verse 1]
Who maddest one on the M1
Who hasn't stopped sucking his thumb
Who very straight and never grins
Who cares what car he's driving in

[Chorus]
He is because he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what he wants then he gets a headache
Because he needs it, wants it, almost, loves it
He's here on his own, on globe alone, here on his own

[Verse 2]
Who joined health club to glisten
Into hi-fi precision
Who mobile phone gives him the bone
Who very keen on Sharon Stone

[Chorus]
He is because he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what he wants then he gets a headache
Because he needs it, wants it, almost, loves it
He's here on his own, all globe alone
Here on his own, all globe alo-lo-lo-lo-lone
And then he says
[Verse 3]
Who eats at the new brasserie
Who only ever gets merry
Who wouldn't be seen at bedtime
Without putting Calvin Kleins on

[Chorus]
He is because he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what he wants then gets a headache
Because he needs it, wants it, almost, loves it
He's here on his own, all globe alone
Here on his own, all globe alone
Here on his own