[Intro: Jack Black]
Ho, Ho, Ho
So many Christmas letters
So many wishes
Lucy wants a squeezy doll
Jimmy wants a moon rocket
Oh, this list's rather long...

[Sum 41's Brown Sound]
Yaaaa
Ya

[Verse 1: Jack Black]
Hey now, Santa, I'm writin' to you
'Cause there's a lotta cool shit I want
I know I've been naughty
But cut me some slack
'Cause theres a lotta cool shit I want

[Pre-Chorus 1: Jack Black]
So here's my list-a
So check it a-twice-a

[Chorus: Jack Black]
I want
A solid-gold Harley with machine guns on the front
I want
A Motley Crue lunch box
Filled with sticky buns
[Verse 2: Jack Black]
I wanna see-through jump suit
That fits me tight
I want all the Beatles copyrights
I wanna chop Florida off the map
I want Pamela Anderson's Speedo top!
Here ya go, Santa
That's my Christmas list
That's all the cool shit I want
But wait a minute, Santa
Here's some things I missed
There's still a lotta cool shit I want

[Pre-Chorus 1: Jack Black]
So here's my list-a
So check it a-twice-a

[Chorus: Jack Black]
I want
A time machine and a BB gun
I want
A statue of Moby on the surface of the sun
I want
To party naked on a school bus full of nuns
I want
A bumper pool table
And a robot pelican
[Verse 3: Jack Black]
There ya go, Santa
I'm sure you'll agree that
There's some really cool shit I want
I know I've been naughty
But I guarantee
That I deserve every single one

[Pre-Chorus 2: Jack Black]
So take my list-a
And check it a-twice-a
I know I've been naughty
But life ain't nice-a
Please I still-a
Need some more shit-a

[Chorus: Jack Black]
I want
I diamond hyena shootin' fire from his butt
I want
A cannibal chef to cook me sweet and sour butt
I want
A magical sleigh that's pulled by flying skunks
I want
All the cool shit I want!