Verse 1 (Rekap):
My brother used to hit me up over the phone line, askin’ what I do in my own time
I said if all I do is devote time and note my flows and cold rhymes, I know that I will blow in no time
Skills, I showed signs, but I had to grow to blow minds, love the game, hate the load times
Now dope lines gotta gold mine, bestowed by Adonai to glow and so I
Would dream of fans and labels who’d faun over me like satyrs
‘Cause in class all of my peers would pass over me like a seder
Innovators turn to imitators ‘cause of these haters
But I rather be outta my mind than be trapped in it like a chamber
Back when bastards used to say that all my raps were not appealin'
And the only fan that I had was plastered to my ceilin’
I would track some writtens, bask in feelins’ then sit back and listen
So addicted to the craft, I gave no crap ‘bout recognition
‘Till six years pass and I still rap but I start to feel the pressure
And I feel that all my skills lack when I go to pen the letters
So I peel back and I feel wack that I won’t get any better
I wish that I could just get it together
‘Cause I’m second guessin’ everything I put on paper
Yeah I’m spittin’ less and less and I’m becoming my worst hater
Every time I pen a rhyme I decide to save it for later
How can I be a creator when my own mind is a traitor
It sucks to be stuck inside of my own criticism
I wanna write but the right diction just isn’t in my system
I need an exorcism of my grim perfectionism
‘Cause I’m losin’ vision and ambition in all my writtens
No kiddin’ I would envision a life on stage where the mic I’d slay and new heights I’d raise
But I’m forgettin’ my mission as to why I create, yeah my sight has strayed and only I’m to blame
See I felt blue in my brain, afraid that I'd lose it some day, but I had my music that would loosen my pain
Em, Matisyahu and Ye, they helped me get through the day, inspired to do the same, I thought I'd pursue the game
But now I’m stressin' over every verb and noun that I say
And where’s the heart and soul I used to put down onto the page?
‘Cause all these metaphors and multis are all losin’ their weight
Instead of tryin’ to impress, I should just try to relate
Verse 2 (atlas):
I’ve been wandering through all of this nonsense
The music I’ve been making losing all of it’s content
And sifting through the dirt and I’m following paw prints
‘Cause I swear it fooled me and now I’m stuck at the wrong fence
My luck has been gone since my talent dissipated
Balancing this minuscule fame with my patience
And living like a middle school dance
Hella aimless and awkward
Never talk except for the wrong words
Face it, I’m losing all my inspiration
The negative feedback is too much take
And there’s barely any of it anyways
I don’t want to turn into another Hemingway
Crashing and burning and turning away
And yearning for dirt until the end of my days
Because this is not the type of life that I would wish to display
I’d rather sit here and drift through the melancholy haze
Until I reach the finish line, fixing my pace
Popeye’s spinach, my writtens I lace
Stop by, listen for the friends that I've made
‘Cause I know they’ll be around once the music goes away
And no matter how the time passes, I don’t want to fade
I’ll never be a staple in the industry today
My stream of consciousness is slowly dripping on the page
So maybe they’ll remember me for something that I say
When the cogs turn, quick to the end they’ll be sticking to facts
Started out my mission with my difficulty maxed
And my passages were lacking in simplistic multi-stacks
So I had to get some practice and then fix the whole attack, well…
Hopefully that’s what they say, it’s never really easy to tell
But I’ve been making music for myself
And I just hope that you enjoy it, as well