Illmac
Raising the Bar 11
[Verse]
Feel like, I just need a space to vent, feel like I could be another name that came and went, feel like I play the bench
Feel like I should be more grateful I got food on my plate a roof to lay under and enough coming to pay the rent
Don’t leave me hanging 'cause I hate suspense
Or put me on a pedestal without a safety net
If I ain’t make a good impression let me make amends, you wanna destroy ya' enemies then make 'em friends
I just booked another match, elevate the pen, they came to witness my internal battle that’s the main event
Learning that line in-between love and hate is thin
But I’m not tryna be your anchor when it’s sink or swim
Drama with the Kult, feel like I’m living on an island
So why I’m feeling hollow when my actions say I’m solid?
I ever had a problem then I handle it in private, I lost it, then forgot what I’m looking for tryna find it
My love’s deep, it runs deeper than subtweets, but I’m off that, let me calm that
We got enough good in our past it ain’t all bad, before we too far gone, let me fall back
What to do, when you see that pain in someone’s eyes when they talkin to you, and you try to be there when it’s toxic to you
When they feel like, everybody leave 'em and they so alone, then they push you away so they can say ‘I told you so’
You become the target of someone's unhappiness it, happens on accident it's collateral damages
And out of love for 'em you accept 'em and adapt to it, but at a certain point you’re just enabling, you're trapped in it
I ain’t perfect I’m a mess it’s true, but I own my shit, and there’s certain shit that I’d never do
Broken mirrors, I’ve been reflecting too, when there’s nothing left to choose, question is your loyalty to them or you?
But maybe we're too stubborn to coexist
That’s why I be I be I be I be over shit
The world don’t give a fuck about your loneliness, bumping Mac rolling through my city on my solo shit
Shed some tears and wrote this shit, tryna cope with it, fuck it I’m going Hulk again flexing until my clothes are ripped
Spit that Olsen twins dope, up the dosages uh oh the chauvinist, Captain Roast-a-Bitch posted with ghosts of my past, look over my shoulders when I hold the pen
Key to the city, heart of the game, I'm the pulse of it
I’m emotionless, neck with bolts in it
Comfortable in my skin now that’s it’s broken in
Mac Miller young as shit, said he ain’t wanna join the 27 Club and died at 26, that ain’t what he meant
Hit him the night before sayin track one’s my shit, now I wish he could come back to earth, what a trip
That's a warning, pops had a stroke I drove from LA to Portland I was, there the next morning
Thank God he recovered, grandma Ladonna said the doctor discovered Stage 4
Pray for her, all we got is each other
Gave me my first rap tape and I love her for it, probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her
They just want gossip, controversy over beats
Don’t even want diss tracks they want personal receipts
I’m what you get, take a thinker and you merge it with a beast, life’s a terminal disease, dreams get murdered in my sleep
Watch the company you keep, what you worship what you eat
Does what you say and what you think serve the purpose that you seek?
Swerving in the street, flourish from the dirt, worms and serpents seeking permanent relief, what you see on the surface isn’t deep
Bravery isn’t lack of fear, in terms of what you think
What takes more strength is having courage when you're weak
Bravery isn’t lack of fear, in terms of what you think
What takes more strength
Look, sometimes I’m with them and I pretend that I’m alone
Sometimes seeing others' flaws help me recognize my own
Like how I put a wall up that separates me from 'em and with the press of a button I can feel nothing it’s numbing
So much, more than words we could say in a discussion
Speak with action, learn from your mistakes or you become 'em
But I know we working, and I’m conscious of the growth
So when I say you, I mean me, I’m talkin to us both
Yeah I know we working, and I’m conscious of the growth
So when I say you, I mean me, I’m talkin to us, both