[Verse 1]
There's the Reds and there's the Greens
Super slicks and has beens
They're accompanied by three men dressed in black
One's a whistle, two are flags
Quite often they're the drags
Kick the ball into the goal, they put it back

[Chorus]
Yes Match of the Day's the only way
To spend your Saturday

[Verse 2]
Each side's eleven men
With numbers on their backs
But at a distance they all tend to look the same
But some own their boutiques
They clean up every week
Inciting riots, causing chaos, such a shame!

[Chorus]
But Match of the Day's the only way
We spend our Saturday

[Post-Chorus]
And that's not all
Our mates the keepers
Slippin' and sliding in the mud
Arms as long as creepers
[Bridge]
Send him off, ref
Where are your specs, ref?
Kick you to death, ref
Oi! Are you deaf, ref?

[Verse 3]
There's a few things before we go
That I think you ought to know
Obstruction, body checking, heavy tackles
So put on your hat and scarf
Have a drink, have a larf
From the terrace you can see your men do battle

[Chorus]
Yes Match of the Day's the only way
You can spend your Saturday

[Post-Chorus]
Don't forget
The trainers with their sponges
Managers with open cheques
Liquid business lunches

[Bridge]
Send ‘im off, ref
Where are your specs, ref?
Kick you to death, ref
Oi! Are you deaf, ref?
[Outro]
Good game, ‘ey Ron?
D’you see that goal in the second half?
Oh, bit of a dirty tackle that, mate
I reckon I should’ve had a bet on it myself
We paid four hundred thousand pounds for him, you realise that?
Oh, look out, here comes a bottle
Yes, fancy a pint then?
My round