Shaquille O’Neal vs. Ken Jeong
[Round 1: Ken Jeong]
If you think you got me, Shaq, I'd say "go ahead and try it"
You haven't won sh*t without the help of Kobe Bryant
You won't survive this matchup, no matter how you shake it
This battle's a free throw, which means you won't make it
Just because you drop albums doesn't mean that you can rhyme
You are a monster, diabetic Frankenstein
You were a superstar, but now you're a sucker
Goodbye, Mr. Shaq. Toodaloo, motherf**ker!
[Round 1: Shaquille O'Neal]
Hey, where's Ken, I didn't see you down there
This a big-boy table, do you need a high chair?
We can all admit this doctor ain't a genius
Only famous for Hangover and having a small p*n*s
I battled Yao Ming, and he was my enemy
Now they got me on this show, taking on his Mini-Me
You could never fade the Diesel rhyme-for-rhyme
Look under here, Ken, it's big ball time
Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?
[Round 2: Ken Jeong]
Yes, when people saw my p*n*s, they went nuts
You went from dunkin' basketballs to Dunkin' Donuts
And let me ask you one thing that really has me laughing
How'd the guy who mumbles every word get into broadcasting?
You call yourself a rapper, but you can't stay on beat
How'd you you play for Miami, son? But your balls had no Heat
You think that you're a comic, so let me tell you, Shaq
You are only funny, hahaha, "because you're fat"
[Round 2: Shaquille O'Neal]
You came back about your p*n*s, and that was dead-wrong
You're the size of my pinky, mine's the size of Ken Jeong
Matter fact, I'll eat your little a** for breakfast
My championship rings would fit you as a necklace
I rap for Ice Cube, and even Meth
I'll kill you with a mic, you just kill with bad breath
Went from a doctor to an actor trying to make money
They say laughter's the best medicine, how come you're not funny?
[Round 3: Ken Jeong]
Fruity Pebbles, Icy Hot, and Oreos, of course
Is there anything in the world that Shaq won't endorse?
In Kazaam you played a genie in a world of pretend
I was only wishing for that movie to end
I'm surprised to hear that you're the greatest rapping athlete
I a**ume, like everything else, Charles Barkley has you beat
You once complained about your toe, which ain't no lie
But you whine so damn much, I was like "but did you die?"
[Round 3: Shaquille O'Neal]
I'm black excellence with Superman appeal
Before Black Panther, Shaquille was Steel
I drop four albums, two million sold and all
You only drop sh*t 'cause your hands are small
You're a munchkin little fad, you can fit inside my pocket
If you need a sleeping bag, I got a condom in my wallet
Listen here, kiddy, it's my mission to punk you
Get the f**k up off my stage before I ball you up and dunk you