A Poets Diary Journal

I’ve been diagnosed with mental illness

I’m a paranoid schizophrenic



I call this bitter sweet bitter sweet poetry is This is what bitter sweet poetry is



I been contemplating for thirty years

Like a black widow waits to go for the kill

In solitaire I’ve planned my attainment

Why do I have to live like a homeless bitch

What I’d do to end my life

Where did I go wrong

Who is the blame besides myself

How could did this happen to me

When will it ever end

Am I paranoid for having a deadly sin



Bitter sweet bitter sweet bitter sweet poetry is I call this poem bitter sweet poetry



Like an hour glass carefully shifts each grain of sand I had time to think

I danced with love how many times does a spindle strings its needle

Time never gave me a voice to decide I dance my last dance I said my last goodbye I lost my brother to suicide

I felt the trauma of losing my child taken away by vicious rumors used to hurt me by a stranger I hardly knew

My pendulum rocks back and forth until the bow breaks tick tock tick tock

And then the outburst calling in rage wars through stollen voices no one heard but me to a past I never had to my imaginary friendships I befriended over a boy jealousy I hardly knew it was coming



Bitter sweet bitter sweet poetry I cal the poem bitter sweet poetry



What’s next I wait. I contemplate timelines lying still in a loft holding on to find memories I create for myself imagery of nothingness that is left unchanged as I am waiting yearning deaths call in my sickly world I call my homework journal of poetry

Song titled bitter sweet poetry