[Verse 1]
Well, I been spending all my money on weed and pills
Trying to write a song that'll pay the bills
It ain't came yet so I guess I'll have to rob a bank
I guess it could be worse, it ain't that bad
At least I ain't sitting in ol' Baghdad
In the middle of the hot damn desert sitting in a tank
Every time the wife talks a baby gets mentioned
But I'm so broke I can't pay attention
Lord, it tears me up to see her cry
I been spending all my nights on the internet
Looking for a clue but ain't found one yet
Just a bunch of Mopars, guitars and other stuff I can't buy

[Chorus]
Well now, Lord if you can hear me
Won't you throw a damn dog a bone?
'Causе if the Devil shows up with a bettеr deal
This old soul's going down
Oh, I sing 'em real pretty, sing 'em real sad
And all the people in the crowd say, "he ain't half bad"
They still call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
But if you want it you can have the crown

[Verse 2]
Been sitting on my ass like a bump on a log
Watching Andy and ol' Boss Hog
I guess I ought to get up and go out and find a job
Instead of sitting on the couch trying to find the next line
I'm sure there's gotta be a better use of my time
Like figuring out which one of them banks I'm a-gonna go rob
Well, the name of the game is hurry up and wait
But that ain't putting no food on my plate
Or gas in my car, and I drive a Bronco
And oh, Lord, I finally got out of my record deal
And now these bluegrass tunes is buying all my meals
And we're all just pawns in the game of life like Mongo
[Chorus]
Well now, Lord if you can hear me
Won't you throw a damn dog a bone?
'Cause if the Devil shows up with a better deal
This old soul's going down
And I sing 'em real pretty, sing 'em real sad
And all the people in the crowd say, "he ain't half bad"
And they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
If you want it you can have the crown
Oh, they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
If you want it you can have the crown