[Verse 1]
Well, I been spending all my money on weed n' pills
Trynao write a song that'll pay the bills
But it ain't came yet so guess I'll have to rob a bank
I guess it could be worse, it ain't that bad
At least I ain't sitting in ol' Baghdad
In the middle of a hot damn desert sitting in a tank
Well every time the wife talks a baby gets mentioned
I'm so broke I can't pay attention
Lord how it tears me up to see her cry
Well I've been spendin' all my nights on the internet
Lookin' for a clue but ain't found one yet
Just a bunch of Mopars, guitars, and other shit I can't buy

[Chorus]
Well now Lord if you can hеar me
Won't you throw a damn dog a bone
'Cause if thе Devil shows up with a better deal
This old soul's a-going down
Oh, I sing 'em real pretty, sing 'em real sad
And all the people in the crowd say, "He ain't half bad"
Well they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
If you want it you can have the crown

[Verse 2]
Well I been sitting on my ass like a bump on a log
Watching Andy and ol' Boss Hog
I guess I ought to get up and go out and find a job
Instead of sittin' on the couch trying to find the next line
I'm sure there's gotta be a better use of my time
Like figurin' out which one of these banks I'm a-gonna go rob
Well the name of the game is hurry up and wait
But that ain't puttin' no food on my plate
Or gas in my car, and I drive a Bronco
So Lord if I could just get me a record deal
I might not have to worry about my next meal
But I'll still be tryna figure out what the fuck rhymes with Bronco
[Chorus]
Well now Lord if you can hear me
Won't you throw a damn dog a bone
'Cause if the Devil shows up with a better deal
This old soul's a-going down
Well I sing 'em real pretty, sing 'em real sad
And all the people in the crowd say, "He ain't half bad"
Well they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
If you want it you can have the crown
Well they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
If you want it you can have the crown