[Verse 1]
Well I'm rather upper class, high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom, the event is never small
The social pages say I've got the biggest balls of all

[Chorus]
I've got big balls, I've got big balls
They're such big balls and they're dirty big balls
And he's got big balls and she's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

[Verse 2]
And my balls are always bouncing, my ballroom always full
And everybody comes and comes again
If your name is on the guest list, no one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got great balls of fire

[Chorus]
I've got big balls, oh, I've got big balls
'N' they're such big balls, dirty big balls
And he's got big balls, and she's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

[Verse 3]
Some balls are held for charity and some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure, they're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing to the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night
[Chorus]
We've got big balls, we've got big balls
We've got big balls, dirty big balls
He's got big balls, she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all

[Bridge]
(Oh, we've got big balls, we've got big balls)
(We've got big balls, we've got big balls)
(We've got big balls, we've got big balls)

[Outro]
And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

(Bollocks knackers, bollocks knackers)
(Bollocks knackers, bollocks knackers)
(Bollocks knackers, bollocks knackers)
(Bollocks knackers, bollocks knackers)
(Bollocks knackers, bollocks knackers)
(Bollocks knackers)