[Verse 1]
Well I wash my dishes in the dark
One big 'ole shiny stain I can't tell apart
But come October, I might just get sober
Well I thought admitting was the hardest part

[Verse 2]
And I don't wash my hair hardly at all
But I could split a hair with a cannon ball
I guess I'd compare it to a half-boiled heretic
Riding on the fence whichever way it falls

[Verse 3]
This dirt, this dust, this rust
It's what I'm all about
Lust, disgust, or bust
Well hell I guess that's my route
I won't wash up, I'l just wash out
I won't wash up, no I'll just wash out

[Verse 4]
And I keep the dirt under my nails
Makes most men think I'm a man
And it freaks out the females
It stays embedded, and I stay unwedded
It's a better bet than just heads or tails
[Outro]
Well I wash my dishes in the dark
One big 'ole shiny stain I can't tell apart
But come October, I might just get sober
Well I thought admitting was the hardest part
Yeah I thought admitting was the hardest part