Please allow me
To introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste

I’ve been around
For a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and fate

I was around
When Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain

I made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands
And sealed his fate

(Chorus 1)
Pleased to meet you
Won't you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around
St. Petersburg
When I saw it was time for a change
I killed the Czar
And his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain

I rode a tank
In a general's rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged
And the finest stank

(Chorus 2)
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the Gods they made

I shouted out
"Who killed the Kennedys?"
When after all
It was you and me

So let me please
Introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid tracks
For the troubadours
Who get killed before
They reached Bombay

(Chorus 3)
Pleased to meet you
Won't you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

Just as every cop
Is a criminal
And all you sinner's saints

As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
'Cause I’m in need of some restraint

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy
And some taste

Use all your
Well-learned qualities
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste
(Chorus 4)
Pleased to meet you
Won't you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
(ah ha ha ha ha)

(Guitar solo)