[Chorus: Bart Baker as Drake]
Started middle class in a wheelchair
On a crappy sitcom making good cash every year
Now I'm dancing stupid by a car
Trying to convince you that my life was so damn hard
I done had it tough from the jump
Livin' wit my mamma in a nice house it was rough

[Verse 1: Drake, Jamario McClain as Lil Wayne, Leland White as Birdman]
On top of that shit, my bar mitzvah was wack
I didn't get a Bentley and my cake tasted like crap
Then Degrassi canned me cause I couldn't act
Had to get a real job and I got promoted fast
So I decided I'ma be a rap star
I met Baby and Wayne and they loved me right away
They said
We like how you sound so monotone
And those massive eyebrows are so marketable
We can tell your life's been a struggle
Do you even own a Bentley?
No, I don't, it's bullshit yo!
Can I sign with ya'll? Dat would be cool
Sure you can big boy
Just meet us in the storage room

[Chorus: Drake & Lil Wayne]
Took it in the bottom now I'm signed
Took it in the bottom from my new team
Now I'm signed
Now you can sip syrup 'til you're blind
By the way did you know I'm the best skater alive?
[Interlude: Lil Wayne, Colby Diebold as Rob Dyrdek, & Birdman]
Young Moolah, baby, ha ha ha! Tunechi!
Give me that fucking skateboard, Wayne!
Just cause you carry a skateboard around doesn't mean you can skate!
Shit!
Damn, playboy! Rob Dyrdek just owned yo ass, playboy
Ha ha ha!

[Verse 2: Drake & Lil Wayne]
I look like a pale caveman
Plus I'm a Canadian so I ain't no harder than Bieber
But I like to pretend that I am
Just don't tell nobody that I'm faker than Minaj's keester
Why the hell are you wearing women's jeans?
Hey get off of my case
They make me feel pretty, Tunechi!
Just to remind myself, I'm a douche
I wear every single chain even when I'm kissing Wayne, now we

[Chorus: Drake, Lil Wayne, Drake & Birdman, Pilot]
Sippin' champagne on a private jet
Just to prove that I am richer than you'll ever get
Did I tell you guys that I skate yet?
Yes!
Whoa, what the hell is that?
The engines are under stress
Something is weighing this damn plane down, ahh
The only explanation is Drake's big ass eyebrows
I'm sorry but we have to throw you out
But I started from the bottom
And that's where you're ending now
[Outro: Drake, Birdman, Pilot, & Lil Wayne]
No!
Come on, man!
I'll shave my eyebrows, man, don't do this!
Too late
No, no, no!
We're leveling out, boy, that was his eyebrows
Yeah, ha ha ha!
Weezy, baby, is gonna live!
Young Moolah, baby, ha ha!
Yeah, ha ha ha ha!
Young Money!