[Verse 1: Jessica Lesaca as Ariana Grande]
This video, is the ultimate nerd fantasy
The only thing, missing, is a Darth Vader sex scene
(Huh!)
I was children's TV star
Now I wanna be a mature artist
(Huh!)
I'm not just for kids anymore
Nowadays Big Sean gets a piece of this

[Pre-Chorus: Ariana Grande]
That's right
I'm dating the rapper you saw in
That video I did before
Boning
A black guy to break free
My good girl image was a bore

[Chorus: Ariana Grande]
This song
Sounds like Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream"
I copy shit you've heard before
"This Kiss" by Carly Rae Jepson
I ripped off this song even more
(more, more, more, more)
[Verse 2: Ariana Grande]
I am getting
Undressed
In zero gravity, yeah
It's obvious
That I am just
Laying on a green screen, yeah
My show on Nickelodeon never would've let me shoot missile boobs
Now I show so much of my hot skin
Most people think they are watching RedTube

[Chorus: Ariana Grande, Bart Baker as Zedd, Gsnaps as Katy Perry & KingBach as Big Sean]
This is the part in every dance video
We see the DJ turn some knobs
I'm just pretending to do things
This is playing off my iPod
Hey, bitch
Not only did you rip off my song
You took my projectile boob move
I'll teach you to steal from Katy
You skinny dumb breast-shooting noob
You're just, jealous that I'm younger and hotter
Plus my voice is better than yours
Russell Brand was smart to leave you
Now you are gonna hear me roar!
Hold up
Nobody shoots cream at my baby
Unless it is your boy, Big Sean
Prepare to feel the wrath of my massive projectile dong
[Outro Skit: Big Sean, Zedd, Ariana Grande Katy Perry, & (Steve)]
Oh, what the fuck?
That's right! This was just one big elaborate ice bucket challenge video!
[Ariana Grande]
Now I nominate Katy Perry!
Oh hell naw, look, enough is enough with this bullshit, ok?
We in a Goddamn drought and you wasting the water by pouring on your motherfucki-
[Big Sean]
Ah! Mothafucka!
[Katy Perry]
I have accepted Ariana Grande's ice bucket challenge!
You know you can just donate the money, right, bitch?
Now, I nominate Steve the camera guy!
(Me?)
I swear to God, Steve!
I swear to God!
If you dump a damn bucket of water on your head I'ma blow your camera up
Man, I told you!
Man, I told you not to-
Oh, God! Boy, boy!
Oh! Bitch, we are so breaking up!