[Verse 1: KingBach as Pharrell Williams]
I'm forty-one but look like I am eight
Thirty-two pounds is how much I weigh
My hat's so big you can see it from space
And this song's so overplayed it will drive you insane

[Chorus: Pharrell Williams]
Cue awful dancing
Clap along if you love watching people who can't dance
My style is tacky
I look like Smokey the Bear in this ridiculous brown hat
This song's so crappy
That it's used by the army to torture people in Iraq
I'm so unhappy
But you'd never know because I just did a shit ton of crack

[Verse 2: Pharrell Williams, JorDance and Michael Parker as Daft Punk, & Bart Baker as Robin Thicke]
I really owe Daft Punk and Robin Thicke (Yeah)
'Cause without them I'd be irrelevant (Yeah)
You need to polish our dicks until they both shine (Yeah)
But before that, let's snort some blurred lines

[Chorus: Pharrell Williams, Bart Baker as Robin Thicke, Pharrell Williams, Robin Thicke, & Daft Punk, & Aron Reuben Korney as Businessman]
We're way too happy
Clap along if you're high and you just wanna clap
We're way too happy
The only way to stand this song is to take ecstasy and do smack
Happy, happy, happy
Apparently saying the same word ninety times guarantees a smash
Happy, happy, happy
Holy shit, I love happiness
Please take all of my hard-earned cash
[Bridge: Pharrell Williams, Choir]
I'm shaking now (Happy, happy, happy)
Did so much speed (Happy, happy, happy)
Have to make sure that I stay happy (Happy, happy, happy)
So I can brainwash humanity (Happy, happy, happy)
With this dumb song (Happy, happy)
And then, sell more CDs

[Chorus: Pharrell Williams, Sam Macaroni as Prozac Attorney, Joan Rivers as Style Police, Alex Farnham as Doctor]
Stop, I'm here to sue Pharrell
I'm a Prozac attorney
The whole world's happy because of this goddamn song
And our drug sales are tanking
Freeze, Style Police
Pharrell, you're under arrest for that fugly-ass brown headpiece
But it's trendy!
It's way too big for your head
You look like an ad for Arby's!
Guys, stop arguing
Pharrell, I got your tests back and found out why your hat looks so big
You are shrinking
That is also why your voice sounds like a prepubescent kid
What are you saying?
According to this chart
You have ten more seconds to live
Doc, please help me!
There's nothing that can be done
Say goodbye to your fake happiness
[Outro Skit: Style Police]
Thank God that horrible song is over!
Now, will someone please get in here and burn that fucking hat?