Bart Baker
Shake It Off (Parody)
[Verse 1: Bart Baker as Taylor Swift]
I have so much fame
I'm richer than Bruce Wayne
My life is so great, mmm-hmm
I just can't keep a date, mmm-hmm
But it's not enough for me
To be queen of country
I need more love and acclaim, mmm-hmm
'Cause I am insane, ha ha ha ha
[Pre-Chorus: Taylor Swift]
I'll make pop music that's trite, bland, and useless
And use my dumb blonde cuteness to expand my fan base to a bigger size
[Chorus]
Well, this song is really lame-lame-lame-lame-lame
And this video's the same-same-same-same-same
A mess of cheerleading, twerking, and ballet
'Make it stop! Make it stop!'
Why does this scene look like a shitty Gap ad?
Why the hell am I dressed like an urban man?
I am clueless who I am-am-am-am-am
''Turn it off! Turn it off!''
[Verse 2: Taylor Swift]
I date a lot of guys
And I'm always surprised
When they break up with me, mmm-hmm
I'm lovely can't you see? Mmm-mmm
But the sad truth is that (But the sad truth is that)
I am a psychopath (Am a psychopath)
If you do not love me, mmm-hmm
I'll chop off your testes
[Pre-Chorus]
So just keep on hating and I'll keep on making songs that keep on stating that I don't care
Which proves you care way too much
[Chorus]
I just want the whole wide world to love Tay-Tay
That's why I'm desperately trying to relate
To every race by dressing up all these ways
Make it stop! Make it stop!
I have absolutely no rhythm. It's sad!
When I dance I look like a paralyzed rat
Hypnotizing you with ass so you can't
Turn it off! Turn it off!
[Bridge]
Hey, hey, hey! You didn't think this god-awful pandering sellout song and video could get any worse did you?
Well, guess what?
Now you have to listen to me rap!
It's going according to plan
I'll have my revenge on the haters who hate
My new army of zombie fans will obey my commands
Kill my haters and the jerks I used to date!
[Chorus: Aron Reuben Korney as God, Bart Baker as Taylor Swift]
Taylor, don't! You've gone insane-sane-sane-sane-sane!
Your feeble attempt to halt me is in vain!
Now, behold the dawning of my wicked reign!
Taylor, stop! Taylor, stop!
I will damn you back to hell-hell-hell-hell-hell!
Go ahead! That's where I dwell-dwell-dwell-dwell-dwell!
There is nothing you can do to break my spell!
Taylor, stop! Taylor, stop!
To break your evil curse
I'll send you somewhere worse
I Lord God now decree
You go back to country!
[Outro: Bart Baker as Taylor Swift and Hillbilly Bill, Aron Reuben Korney as Hillbilly Willy, Ricky Mammone as Hillbilly Hank]
[Hillbilly Bill]
Well, well, well, look who came crawlin' back to her country roots!
[Hillbilly Willy]
We don't take that around here: the Satanic country singers that try to go pop, but then get banished back to country by the Lord!
[Hillbilly Hank]
No, we don't!
[Hillbilly Bill]
This is where you belong, girl, and you ain't never leavin'! Now, play that country music, devil woman!
[All Hillbillies]
Woo!
[Taylor Swift]
No!