[Intro]
Da, do, do, ru, do, do, ru do da!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do da!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do da!
Do, do, ru, do da! (Aw, ow!)

[Verse 1: Bart Baker as Bruno Mars & jacksfilms as Mark Ronson]
This song is lazy it just rips off the 80's
Back when all funk music was made by huge cocaine addicts
Every nostril
Had some white-nose candy in it
And everyone got up to use the bathroom every ten minutes
I'm too high
Just snort
That guy looks like Michael Jackson
I'm 5'5'
That's short
That's not a man, that's a lesbian
Who's that guy?
Some dork
I wrote this song!
I'm Mark Ronson!
This looks like New York
But it's just a cheap run-down movie set

[Pre-Chorus: Bruno Mars & Dancers]
Girls walking by ignore us
Ew!
Walk by and just ignore us
Ew!
This song has no real chorus
True!
It's just me and these four guys clappin'
Looking into the camera clappin'
Something cool is about to happen
We're gonna dance while the cameraman spins the camera around
Spin it!
[Chorus: Bruno Mars, Dancers, & Mark Ronson]
Da, do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Mark don't try to get down!
Da, do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
White boy dance like a clown
Why? Because I'm not brown?
Hey, don't have a meltdown!
Please let me hang around!
Okay, fine, just

[Verse 2: Bruno Mars, Dancer, Mark Ronson, & Bruno Mars & Dancers]
Stop, come walk with me
Just don't dance Ronson you're too shitty
Bruno, please, sign this check
To buy a car that’s a wreck!
Which we'll dance 'round in the street without gettin’ in it
Can I please dance with you guys now?
No, Mark Ronson, you keep sittin'

[Refrain: Bruno Mars, Mark Ronson, & Shoe Shiner]
I'm too hot
You're wet
The sweat's turning my pink jacket red
Could you stop dancin'?
I'm trying to shine your shoes you cokehead!
Now we've got
Up top
Old lady hair rollers on our heads
We look like grandmas
And my damn nose is bloody from the blow
[Pre-Chorus: Dancer, Bruno Mars, Dancers, Mark Ronson, & Christoff Ryjin as Michael Jackson]
I was on a computer
Ooh!
And I read a strange rumor
Ooh!
You're Michael Jackson Jr.!
Ooh!
So is it true was he your father?
That would be an amazing honor
That can't be they're different colors!
Back from the dead to clear up this shit
But first, grab your own dick and dance!

[Chorus: Michael Jackson]
Da, do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
One more time grab your dick! (Heehee!)
Da, do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Do, do, ru, do, do, ru do rah!
Time for rumors is done
Yes, I have one more son
And the world will be stunned
To learn you are the one
I’m your father!
[Outro Skit: Bruno Mars, Michael Jackson, & Mark Ronson]
Oh my God!
I knew it!
I'm Michael Jackson's son!
The rumors were true!
No, not you!
Him, Mark Ronson!
Yes!
That means I'm black!
I can dance!
Heh, in your face, guys!
Aw, ow!