[Verse 1: Bart Baker as Taylor Swift]
My ex-boyfriends all hate me now
They think I was crazy and dicked them around
I can't stand that they think about me as a bad girlfriend
So I guess I gotta take them out!

[Pre-Chorus 1: Taylor Swift]
How dare they all dump Taylor Swift
And not remember me as perfect
They must pay the price
And I won't rest until they all are dead!

[Chorus 1: Taylor Swift, Vaho Tchatchidze as John Mayer]
Hey John! Remember me?
Sure, Taylor, we dated before I met Katy
Since our breakup made me scream
I'll return the favor
Go to hell, John Mayer!
That's right, scream
Aaaaah! Aaaaah!
Rest in peace
Ha ha ha!

[Verse 2: Taylor Swift, Jerry Gregorio as Joe Jonas]
I invited Joe Jonas to my tent
Yeah, I used to date him
Back when he still had hits
It's not fair my career's gone to shit
God, I hate my brother
Well he's the one with talent!
[Pre-Chorus 2: Joe Jonas, Taylor Swift]
Why would you say something so cruel?
No, please stop!
What the hell did I do?
You broke up with me over the phone
And left me all alone

[Chorus 2: Taylor Swift, Alex Farnham as Jake Gyllenhall]
Now I am on a plane
Soon I will be killin'
One more ex - Jake Gyllenhaal
What are you doing, Tay?
I'm hitting this button
Now I'm gonna jump
It's my wildest dream
No! No! No!
That was three
Two to go

[Breakdown: Jack Douglass as Harry Styles, Taylor Swift]
Taylor?
Hello, Harry
I've come to say bye-bye
Because you're about to die
What? I'm just going to space!
There's been a change of plans
'Cause I'm killing exes in
[Chorus 3: Taylor Swift, Ben Hicks as Calvin Harris]
My wildest dreams
Ha! Ha! Ha!
What are you doing, Taylor, love?
I know eventually, you will dump me
What? No! Ow!
So I might as well
Kill you now