[Intro: George Khouri as Drake]
I used to have a girlfriend
Then she saw my dancin'
Yeah



[Chorus 1: Drake]
My girlfriend left me, I'm so alone
Now she's out there having fun
She should be sad at home
How dare she live and move on?



[Verse 1: Drake & Kiki Giavanni as Nebby]
I'm so depressed, my phone won't ring
She always used to call me
Is it because my breath stinks?
Or all of my stupid memes?
This is an especially dumb move
Now it looks like I'm pushing something down
My sweatshirt's got a drawing of an owl
I get away with bad fashion somehow
Hey, baby, you came back!
Get off me dude!
You're the one who left town
You left me here
You could've had me, you chose your career
So wipe away your fake ass whiny tears!



[Chorus 2: Drake]
This music sounds like when you're on hold
Waiting till someone picks up
You're a thief dude you stole
The beat from D.R.A.M.'s song, "CHA CHA"




[Verse 2: Drake & Brandon Brown as Meek Mill]
I'm the black male Taylor Swift
Writing songs about exes
Dancing like I'm Carlton
Who wants to be my Fresh Prince?
Ever since I quit "Degrassi" I've tried to
Make people forget I'm an actor
Accept me as a legit rapper
I've tried real hard to act much blacker
Guess that's why you got a ghost writer, dude!
You're a fraud, that's why I got Minaj
Said you were first in line
I took your spot
By the way your ex is also on my jock
Ha!

[Chorus 3: Drake, Nebby, Meek Mill, & Tiffany Tynes as Nicki Minaj]
This cannot be happening, hell no!
I thought you needed my love
Screw you and OVO!
What!?
That's it now I am charged up!
What the hell is happening!?
He's having a meme fury!
Meek, let's get out of here, please!
Sorry, but you're not leaving!
Now it's time for more bad dancing



[Outro Skit: Steve-O as AT&T Representative & Drake]
Yeah, dude, thank you for calling AT&T Customer Support, this is Steve, how can I help you?
Oh shit, hello, yes, I'm here, hello?
Yes, how may help you, sir?
Oh my god, how long was I on hold for? I think I was starting to hallucinate
Not more than eighteen hours, sir, now, how may I help you?
Ok, yes, so I think something is wrong with my service
Sorry to hear that, sir
My girl always used to call me on my cell phone, late night when she needed love, but my hotline hasn't been blinging at all lately, something ain't right
Uh, let's see here, nope, everything's perfectly fine, did you ever stop to consider that maybe she's just not calling you anymore?
Nah, no way, that can't be, she wouldn't do that to Drizzy!
Can you please check again better?
Sir, I'm gonna have to place you on hold
Wait, wait, wait!
Can somebody just staple my balls together?
No, no, no, NO!