[Verse 1: Bart Baker]
I'm a really young guy
In fact, I am only thirteen
I got famous making shitty vines
And cringey lipsyncs on Musical.ly
Since my fans seem to love everything I do
They will probably love me doing a pop song too

[Pre-Chorus: Students]
But you can't sing
Your voice sounds like a sick animal who's dying

[Chorus: Students & Teacher]
Your singing makes my ears hurt
It's making me nauseous
I'd rather drink bleach than hear this
God, this song is a huge turd
Plus, this video looks like ass
It's no wonder it almost has a million dislikes

[Verse 2: Bart Baker]
If you think my singing sucks
Without autotune, it's much worse
This is what I really sound like
The worst singing ever heard
But all my fans just see my face and swoon
And when I bite my lip
And do all my fuckboy moves
[Pre-Chorus: Bart Baker]
They are hypnotized
Get your dad's bank card and buy my crap merchandise

[Chorus: Bart Baker]
Like my overpriced sweatshirt
It cost one buck to make, so I'll be laughing to the bank
Girl, when you wear my sweatshirt
I hate my fat and smelly fans
But my mom and dad demand I hug them and smile

[Bridge: Bart Baker & Parents]
Jacob, get inside!
Why?
To sew sweatshirts!
But I really don't wanna sew!
So?
This blows!
Let's go!
Oh, wait, first let's make a vine

[Chorus: Parents]
Now start sewing those sweatshirts!
Help!
Our son looks like an elf
But he's brought us such immense wealth
Hey Jacob get back to work
It's time to post a corny tweet!
And film a cringey Musical.ly!
Make all your fans buy sweatshirts!
Come on, lets go Elf Boy!
Sew those sweatshirts!