[Sung]
Thanks to Taylor Swift
I just got my biggest hit since Pillowtalk
I'm 'bout to sing falsetto
Time to sound like I don't have balls

Hey, there Zayny, haha!
Are you crazy?
Shut up! I got a great idea. Hahahaha!
I miss Harry, I bet you miss Perrie
I know how we can get them back

We say we can't live without them
And we'll die if they're not by our sides
Do you mean like a threat?
Exactly
We'll tell them we'll commit suicide
If they don't come back home

Nooo, no, no, nooo
We wouldn't really do it, we'd lie (No)
I don't want her back, though
I text-dumped her, don't you know?
Well, you better help me, or else I (No)
Won't do this cameo
Zayn and I have decided
If you don't come back, we'll kill ourselves. Hahahaha!
And when we die, our blood will be on your hands
Taylor, what the hell? Hahaha!

Hey there, Harry
This is scary
Do you mean that text?
Yeah, it's insane
Taylor's a psycho
But we still have to go
Why?
Zayn's still in love with me!

Zayn, we can get back together
So there's no need to blow out your brains
Oh, Harry, you showed up!
Whatever
What's wrong?
It's just a trick
Shut up, Zayn!
These guns are just for show

Screw this, I am gonna go
Taylor, you are sick, and deranged!
Nobody's going home! HAHAHAHAHA!
She's the devil
Yeah, I know
Time to murder all of you
Wait! I can't lie anymore
I still love you
No, you don't
I swear, I do, that's why I say that you and I should both
Take poison, so we can go live in hell together
Okay! Here, I got poison
Whoa

Well, go on, drink it, let's go!
He's gonna die!
He'll be okay
Her mouth's starting to foam!
How are you still fine?
Don't know
Yours is still full!
Uh oh

[Spoken]
Back off, Perrie
Good luck shaking that one off, you wench
Hey, this doesn't mean we're having another three-way
Oh, that was weird