[Verse 1: Bart Baker as Taylor Swift, George T. Kimmel IV as Harry Styles, Edward Vilderman as Jake Gyllenhaal]
It feels like the perfect day
To torture my exes
And then put on their skin
Help me!
Shut up Harry!
I escaped from the asylum
And kidnapped all of them
So I could get my revenge
You're sick!
HA HA HA... HA!

[Pre-Chorus: Taylor Swift, Harry Styles, Ex-boyfriends]
Yeah...
I've got Joe, Jake, John, and Kennedy
All wrapped in duct tape! Ha ha ha ha
Bitch give me back my fucking face!
Fat chance!
Today's the first day of a never-ending Hell date!
It's time!
Uh oh

[Chorus: Taylor Swift, Alex Farnham as John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Donn Stewart as Joe Jonas]
Now you all will be mine!
Until the end of all time!
I will never let you leave
Somebody call the police!
You better shut your mouth!
Or I will cut your tongue out!
Why are you dancing like that?
Because I'm a psychopath!
Now it's your turn to dance!
You just shot me in my ass!
[Verse 2: Taylor Swift, Ex-boyfriends, Jake Gyllenhaal, John Mayer]
You should never have dumped me!
Now you're all buried, let's watch Tyler Perry
Please just kill us!
It's Madea Goes to Jail! (Ahh) My favorite movie! (Hallelujah)
This proves she's crazy! (Ahh)
It's making my eyes bleed!

[Pre-Chorus: Taylor Swift, Joe Jonas, Ex-boyfriends]
Yeah...
Soon you will all become members of my death cult!
Uh, excuse me?
After the murder ritual!
Oh crap!
Then we will spend eternity together below!
In Hell! Ah ha ha ha ha
Uh oh!

[Chorus: Taylor Swift, Ex-boyfriends, Jake Gyllenhaal, John Mayer]
All the rumors are true!
I am Satan!
Yeah we knew!
Now your heads must all come off!
BRB I'll get the saw!
Dude, she dropped her cell phone!
Pick it up call the po po!
We'll be dead once they get here!
I have a better idea sent!
Ah, what are you doing?
Uh uh uh uh... (Ahh) We were not doing anything
Ah, no matter, time to die!
No no no no
I'll see you in the afterlife
[Chorus: Sal Alvarez as Jesus, Ex-boyfriends, Taylor Swift, Jake Gyllenhaal]
Hey hey!
Drop the weapon, Miss Swift!
OMG, it's Jesus!
How did you find me J.C.?
I got a text from Jake G
We're actually quite close!
He likes all my Facebook posts!
And he follows me on Twitter, anyway back to Taylor now!
Gah
Time to take care of you!
I can't move!
With this Holy Water Balloon!
Gah! Get that away from me you fool, gah!
Sorry but your time here is through!