[Intro: KingBach as Juicy J]
Yeah, y'all know what it is
Katy Perry, Juicy J
Uh-huh, let's rage

[Verse 1: Bart Baker as Katy Perry & Vaho as John Mayer]
I just broke up with an enormous douchebag
And now it is audition time for my next man
But I
Have one request, to be with me
Treat me shittely then cheat on me
You were my darling flower
You should go take a shower
My finger might just be the only
Thing that can please
Katy Perry

[Pre-Chorus: John Mayer & Katy Perry]
Take me back I brought you a gift
Panties from the girl who lives next door
Are those Victoria’s Secret?
I only wear Gucci, Prada, or Dior

[Chorus: Katy Perry & Gabriel Koura as Offended Arabic]
That is what you get, you cheap prick
This video's offensive
To Muslims and Egyptians
Put my makeup back!
[Verse 2: Katy Perry & Courtney Pants as Miley Cyrus]
Let's lez out
Oh no, not again, Miley
We made out
That's because you mouth raped me
I brought you
A jar of all my STDs
You're sickening!

[Pre-Chorus: Bart Baker as Robin Thicke & Alex Farnham as Russell Brand]
If you want a date a cheater
I could show you just how blurred my lines are
Get out here you old creeper
Marry me again, I'm the worst by far

[Chorus: Katy Perry, Robin Thicke & Russell Brand]
I'm not interested, so sorry
Don't zap us with your boobies
I'm getting bored, this song needs
Someone who is black

[Verse 3: Juicy J]
Uh, guess that's me, the name’s Juicy J
I sold my ass out
For Katy Perry
Dark Horse is the name of this wack beat
But there ain't a single horse and the only dark thing is me
Why the hell is this theme Egyptian? (Egyptian?)
Katy, check your brain, I think it's missing (Missing!)
All these blue guys and bitches with cat heads who wrote this, were they trippin'?
I think that I was drugged
Why else would I agree to do this?
I used to be straight hood, but now I'm making pop garbage
[Chorus: Katy Perry & Offended Arabic]
Every video I do this
Have to stand up above all the rest
Time to use my enormous tits
To escape this horrible green screen set
There is nobody, nobody (Nobody)
That’s good enough for Katy (For Katy)
So screw all you, peace out dudes (Peace out)
I don't think so bitch!

[Outro Skit: Katy Perry, JorDance as Blue Man & Russell Brand]
(Gasp) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Ohhh!!
I always knew they were fake