[Meghan Trainor:]
Who's the greatest person who ever lived?
It's me!
Everybody else sucks
I've got a Grammy and four top ten hits
Clearly
That makes me the best
This is the most self-centered
And obnoxious song ever heard
Why would you want to be yourself?
You should be me and no one else
You suck
Ugh look at you!

[Driver:]
What is wrong with me?

[Meghan Trainor:]
You need a new red hairdo
And a giraffe hood too
Here take these dudes

[Driver:]
Hey are you trying to make us look just like you?

[Meghan Trainor:]
Yes!
[People in car:]
But we don't want to!

[Meghan Trainor:]
If you don't want to be me
You must be a real dummy
Here wear these robes that are pink
And sing into these like me
Everyone but me is flawed
So you should all quit your jobs
And become entertainers
Just like me Meghan Trainor

[Makeup artist #1:]
What are you trying to do?
Please stop!

[Meghan Trainor:]
To make you more like me not you
You suck!

[Makeup artist #2:]
We can't work Meghan please stop it!

[Meghan Trainor:]
But you both are total dog shit
I'm great
What's wrong with these people who cannot see
That they should want to be
Just exactly like me?
[Scientist:]
Hold on, Meghan
I believe that I can
Help them to understand

[Meghan Trainor:]
Quick please tell me your plan

[Scientist:]
I'm working on this machine
That can map out all of your genes
Then any creature that walks in
Will come out a clone of Meghan

[Meghan Trainor:]
Hell yeah
You you and you prepare to be improved
Step up and walk right through
Come on you go through too!
This is so great
Everyone has my face
The world's a better place
You saved the human race
Now I can see
Just what love really means
That's why now I'm asking
Will you all marry me?