When someone tries to throw me shade
I use a spell I learned on
Wizards of Waverly Place
Because I really am a witch
I turn on the niceness
Pretend I like em
They don't realize I am full of shit
I kill em with kindness
Til their body's lifeless
You're dead, you're dead, you're dead now!

When I treat someone kind they always die
But I cannot be charged with a crime
I get away with murder all the time
Yeah, that's right
Instagram haters and Twitter trolls
I direct message them a sweet hello
And when they read it at first they're smiling
But soon they are dying

I don't use violence
I kill em with kindness
It's worse than a kick in the privates
If I feel slighted
You should be frightened
Cos I'll explode your head now
Selena Gomez, she must be stopped!
Her evil power it must be blocked!
That kind of sweetness, who could resist it?
This Canadian!
Hey, Justin Bieber, your country needs ya
To stop your ex girlfriend Selena
You're numb and jaded from female attention
Her spell will not affect you

Yo what's up Selena?
Oh my god Justin what are you doing here?
Yo Selena you know your music sucks and you got big nasty feet?
What did you say?
He said your music blows and you are like hmm, hmm girlfriend
And he's hating on you
Well that's okay like I don't mind the hate and I just love you Justin
I love everything about you and your hair and you're so amazing
You talking right now?
I'm – I – I really love your shoes Justin
Would you shut up?
I don't understand – I – I – I just want to be kind
I just want to be kind Justin. I…
Yes, bingo
Our work here is done
Now we're going to deport your lily-white supple yet firm ass back to Canada
Wait hey that wasn't part of the deal eh…