[Verse 1: Bart Baker as Carly Rae Jepsen]
I'm watching you in my yard, making my nipples rock hard
Wish you'd lose the bodyguard, so I could lick your face
I love your black nappy hair and those suits that you wear
I'm wearing your underwear that I stole from your place

[Pre-Chorus: Carly Rae Jepsen]
I'm a total psycho
Spying through a window
I’ll kill that Michelle hoe
And take over as First Lady

[Chorus: Carly Rae Jepsen & Danny Watson as Barack Obama]
Hi, nice to meet you, I'm friggin' crazy
When I kill your wife, you will marry me
Carly Rae Obama will be my new name
I've been your stalker since your first campaign
Whoa I don't know you, you're friggin' crazy
You look like a dude, your eyes are lazy
And you really need to stop stalking me
Your pale skin and bangs are super creepy

[Verse 2: Carly Rae Jepsen & Barack Obama]
You might not realize it yet
But we'll soon be having sex inside the Oval Office
You're totally insane
Maybe if I wash my car it will make your wiener hard
Please stop or I'm gonna barf, you look worse than McCain
[Pre-Chorus: Carly Rae Jepsen]
Now I'm gonna fall off of this car's wet hood top
Oh my head hit a rock
OMG it's really bloody

[Chorus: Carly Rae Jepsen, Barack Obama & Kamil Haque as Osama bin Laden]
I snuck in your room while you were away
And stole your boxers, they smell good, don't they?
Get those damn boxers out of my face
Or else I'll gonna call the C.I.A
No! Please I love you!
Just give me one taste
Take one step closer and I'll scream rape
Wait! Who the hell's that guy playing the bass?
Oh that's Osama
My death was a fake

[Post-Chorus: Barack Obama]
When people fake losing their life it makes me look bad
How could you do that?
This makes me so so mad
But secretly I've always liked your sexy beard and hat
Will you be my man, so call me, maybe