[Zayn] This song was designed to make you feel lovely
By pointing out the flaws on your fat body
And pretending that we love them to make you feel pretty
But clearly you’re ugly

[Fat Girl] “WAIT WHAT?”

[Liam] You know nobody loves those gross wrinkles by your eyes
Your huge thighs are hideous and your stomach is super-sized
You have to buy two seats on airlines whenever you fly
But that’s why you’re special to me

[Fat Girl] “OH WAIT THIS IS STARTING TO GET A LITTLE WEIRD!”

[One D] Your double chin and stretch marks make you stand out
[Niall] I play guitar
[One D] Yes it’s true
That’s you – you are huge
And look like a dude
But that’s why we love you

[Fat Girl] “YOU REALLY LOVE ME!”

[One D] Did we mention that you’re fat

[Louis] Hey can I sing about Harry for a second?
[Harry] Sure

[Louis] I know everything about my pal Harry
Like how he has a mole on the shaft on his mate
And those daily masturbations that we do so secretly
Are what make my life complete

[Harry] Back to the things we like about that fat ape
Both of your nipples look like pan cakes
Your bush hair is huge like Don King’s dew

But you’re perfect to me

[Fat Girl] “UM, I’M CONFUSED.”

[One D] What we’re basically saying
Is your hideous

You have zits
Hairy tits
And your lips smell like bad fish
But we love that gross shit

[Zayn] We’re not talking about the lips on your mouth
[Harry] Who want’s to suck my d****
[Justin] I will – never say never!

[Harry] What the hell Justin, this isn’t your fuckin video!
[Justin] Oh well, I was just answering the question dogg!

[Harry] I got Louie for that!
[Louis] Yeah!!~
Oh!

[Justin] Screw you guys!

[Harry] Now where were we boys!

[Louis] Oops I let your little thing slip out of my mouth!

[Louis] I’m sorry!
[Harry] No, don’t be
It’s tiny
[Louis] Hey same with me!
[Niall] And me
[Liam] And me
[Zayn] And me

[One D] We all have little things