I'm a Ivy League boy with state school flavor
Little hungover, man I gotta write a paper
I party all the time, add a credit to my major
Graduate now? Nah, I'll graduate later
Haters tryna tell your boy "get a clue"
Cause my fake ID says that I'm 32
True, I go to Penn, you think that Penn State's wilder?
Take you to Van Pelt, then become Van Wilder
I'm a tryna smart guy Tahj Mowry
So we remix and visit Pottruck Alley
How we get some girls, but if they ain't feelin' you
We'll have to get my dude to call some girls up from PhillyU
Ooh, I'm telling you, it ain't all fucks
I'm eating pizza and sushi thanks to open rush
So I'm grabbing that free shit and bolting
I don't want no bromance or brody, I'm out of here homie
See they all love the haters, the girls up in Theta cause
They ain't nothing but a upenn girl
See I got mad hell when I enter Tridelt.. oh well
They ain't nothing but a upenn girl
They testing STDs, I'm up in SDT like
They ain't nothing but a upenn girl
Damn, shawty nothing but a upenn girl, damn
Damn, shawty nothing like a upenn girl
Yeah yeah, and I don't know if y'all can understand me
So I told em I was recruiting for Morgan Stanley
Or JP Morgan, hold on I'm getting fancy
She thinks that I be funny, Douglas Yancey
I'll be her Skeeter Valentine, it don't matter
Leave a Greek lady while she eating gyro platter
Anyway her big's ass a whole lot fatter
But if you think she's bad, then her little's way badder
Girl is a freshman and she loves to French kiss
So she signs me into the quad, feeling blessed kid
And when she undresses it's kinda like the best shit
I guess I'm messing with an underage freshman
Get blasted, wake up, and send a nice text
Then go back to my bed just to get some real rest
Yes this is my story, oh I really suggest
You get down with Hoodie Allen baby, we be the best
And we never can have it, the girls up in Tabard but
They ain't nothing but a upenn girl
AChiO, mad fly hoes but yo
They ain't nothing but a upenn girl
They after me, they chillin Alpha Phi like
They ain't nothing but a upenn girl
Damn shawty nothing but a upenn girl, damn
Damn shawty nothing like a upenn girl
Aw man, I don't know if this track's gonna get me in trouble, or if it's gonna lead me to get some Lee Rubenstein type ass
You know Witz, maybe with this shit you can get on my level motherfucker
Yeah, I mean I think that's pretty much impossible because I don't have threesomes with freshman girls like every single weekend...
YET!