[Verse 1: Sarcastic spoken: Auto-tune]
Ah, yeah, this is my year baby
I feel like a real rapper now, like big leagues, man
Talk about Ciroc, what rhymes with ciroc?
(Michael clean up your room!)
Cock, cock
(Clean up your room your baseball cleats are all over the floor)
Mom, I’m recording for the studs, stud-stud Friday (go be a stud later)
Uh, I fucking hate my mom
Yeah, I got my eyes on you
I think you’re almost fifteen
I wanna motorboat on that tushie
Ciroc's on me, I’ll buy it all for you (I'll buy it all)
But please don’t show me I.D
I’m almost 28 but I’m thirsty
For frat parties
‘Cause we’re in Rhode Island you know it (Rhode Island)
My fans are all in little league teams (little league)
‘Cause we’re in Rhode Island and you know it
Jon Kilmer auto-tuned it for me
Just hold on we’re jacking flows
Just hold on we’re jacking flows
It’s hard to be original
Just hold on I’m jacking off
(Michael did you clean up your room?)
Mom, I will get to it, this is an original creation
I am a fuckin’...I’m not a fuckboy
I’m not a fuckboy, ok?
I fuck boys, but I’m not a fuckboy
(laughing) let’s go
[Interlude: Spoken regular]
Dude, I really didn’t want to do this
I’ve never seen somebody get so offended by one line
This dude still thinks he’s in high school and I think he’s 26
You ever seen Back To The Future?
I’m Marty McFly, and that makes you Biff
I apologize for any shared fans but I have to ruin his career
So you can just listen to me later, alright

[Verse 2]
Ayo, Mike Stud, white scrub
Thought you made a nice one
Coming after me? Well, where the fuck do you get advice from?
We could start a fight club, I’ll be Tyler Durden
Murder every rapper talking especially ones you ain’t heard of
I'm conflicted (why)
‘Cause I’ve given into this dipshit
Who’s just a carbon copy of everyone in this business
I’m playing sold-out shows, you ain’t playing with no hoes
Unless you count your fuckin’ crew because all them dudes is bitches
Look at your statistics, you ain’t selling tickets
Excuse me, but have you heard of Mike Stud? Crickets
For a strong dude, you make some fuckin’ weak shit
Hooking up with underage girls, homie that’s creep shit
If my girl's a five, your girl's non-existent
The only way you’ll get a full ride is hopping on this dick
Which you do, and that's just a mistake
You were an athlete at Duke you should be used to getting raped
Touring must be boring when your fans only react to popular 90's covers and never heard of your tracks
It’s like “We came here to dance, do molly and see boobies"
That's why the only ones at your shows are male groupies
And I’m a dork, yea I’ma Ivy League graduate
Well, at least I didn’t start rapping on accident
Make your fans disappear like a fucking magic trick
If my career's a dick, you’d be the only one that's grabbing it
You're less than average, and I ain't talking batting
When you try to swing at me I’ll fucking show you what a challenge is
You’re defenseless, let me finish your sentence
“It’s Mike Stud homie, sports reference”
[Interlude: Spoken Regular]
(Sports reference
Shit is honestly so predictable
You’re the lowest hanging fruit
Do you even know what that means?
Ugh, Nevermind)

[Verse 3]
I’ve inspired like millions of people with all my tracks
And you’ve inspired...uhhh...millions of Huey Macks
Yo congrats, I hope you hang yourself with a rope
Tie it to your best friend like you’re my boy blue, Nope
Peach Cirocs, you like Peach Cirocs, you be eating cocks
I'm leaping frogs, you an ugly prince you fucking need a job
Take your girl and lead her on, homie you been reading wrong
Honestly I’m just surprised that you can read at all
You’re the type of guy
To take a shower at the Y
And put your dick out with your friends
So you can all compare the size
I’m tired of this talking
Your shit is not appealing
I thought you were a pitcher why the fuck you catching feelings?
Think you’ve hit a wall better yet you’ve hit your ceiling
Wait ‘till Drake drops some new shit so you can steal it
I hate to break it to you but everyone thinks your rap sucks
I even asked your crew if you're whack and they’re like “Uhyup”
Quit while you’re already choking on dicks
This shit is comic relief and you ain't closer to shit
Quit while you’re already choking on dicks
This shit is comic relief and you ain't closer to shit
Hoodie