[Verse 1]
I got my eye on some young guy
Computer salesman at Best Buy
You might think I'm crazy, you might think I'm high
I'm turning into some kind of spy
He's not a rocker he's not a mod
He does not work for the Geek Squad
He goes to work, then straight back home
He always seems to be alone

[Chorus 1]
I'm old and frail, he's young and spry
I know he lives at 5th and High
I'm obsessed, I have a disease
I feel like a perverted Catholic priest

[Verse 2]
He must not know that I exist
For my fantasy to persist
I send him e-mails to his home address
Pretending to be a boy named Les
Shopping for a new laptop
I feel like an undercover cop
I like the Lenovo Think Pad feel
But I will not let him close the deal
[Chorus 2]
Shot glass, paper bag bottle of wine
Tube of glue, skull of some young guy
Shot glass, paper bag, bottle of wine
Duct tape, skull of some young guy
Shot glass, paper bag, bottle of wine
Tube of glue, skull of some young guy
Shot glass, paper bag, bottle of wine
Duct tape, skull of some young guy

[Outro]
Got my eye on Some Young Guy
Computer salesman at Best Buy