[Verse 1]
Well, the phone's gonna ring and you tell them I'm not home
Will you water the ferns and feed the fish out in the pond?
I'm gonna get mean if you don't stop singing that Hawaiian song
How can you hear me scream if you still got your headphones on?

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Is this the beginning of our vacation?
Or is this the end of our relationship?

[Chorus]
Is this the end?
Is this the end?

[Verse 2]
And John's been avidly reading Slash's bio
There was a TV set smashed out in front of his room
I didn't ask, I led a solo charge down to the sea
Where the fast-food trash and tourists made me fear and loathe it

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Is this the beginning of middle-aging?
Or is this the end of civilization?

[Chorus]
Is this the end?
Is this the end?
[Verse 3]
And if there's no ring, I will have to say goodbye
Nah, I'm just playing John, I look terrible in white
You better hide the weed because the maid is at the door
And I can see a John getting a hand job on the balcony below

[Pre-Chorus 3]
Is this the beginning of expectation?
Or is this the end of our vacation?

[Chorus]
Is this the end?
Is this the end?

[Outro]
And we'll be drinking cava
Drinking cava on the plane
And we'll be getting farther
Getting farther from this place