[Round 1: Nick Lachey]
Yo, when Ashley left Disney, things turned low-key
Life ain't been "suite" since she lost Zack and Cody
And Vanessa Hudgens used to be like your big sis
Now she replies to your texts with "New phone, who dis?"
I'd say that you have a Hilary Duff face
But whenever you take pictures, you have Hilary duck-face
Is it me, or was Glee like High School Musical a lot?
They took your whole plot, and Lea Michele took your spot

[Round 1: Ashley Tisdale]
God, that verse sucked, and now you hit a dead-end
You were on Raising the Bar, and now you bartend
You hosted Sing-Off, aired on NBC
Whenever Nick was on it, though, it was "Sing-Off-Key"
I'm producing TV behind the scenes as a hustle
You're still singing, looking like One Direction's drunk uncle
Example of every reality TV cliché
Can't get Spencer Pratt? Call Nick Lachey

[Round 2: Nick Lachey]
Girl, you try to sing and act like you're Demi Lovato
But with a fraction of a reaction, so you're Semi Lovato
You're big with the kids, and it makes sense why
You're basically a Skechers ad that's come to life
After High School Musical, you tried to hold that buzz
Had a song called "Crank It Up," I hope nobody does
And you played Dorky Girl in Donnie Darko, right?
Funny, that's also the role that you play in real life
[Round 2: Ashley Tisdale]
Hey, Nick Lachey, I'm not trying to be reckless
But you're the human equivalent of a puka shell necklace
You were in a boy band, I can't remember the name
It was something about weather and it had ten minutes of fame
I was an icon on Disney, I still get roles from it
The only rolls you get now are starring on your stomach
And listen, there's no way in hell you're beating me
But don't worry, Nick, there's always other chicken in the sea

[Round 3: Nick Lachey]
You're a millennial poster child, a Twitter dingbat
It sucks your best work is through filters on Snapchat
"We're All in This Together," wasn't that the song?
But when Zac got famous, he didn't bring you along
We'll say Scary Movie 5 sucked 'cause of you
But it made Scary Movie 4 look like Scary Movie 2
This battle's all mine, it's something you can't fix
You used to live the Suite Life, now you're in a Motel 6

[Round 3: Ashley Tisdale]
Jackson 5, NSYNC, and we move down the line
Congrats, you're the tenth-best boy band of all time
You have Dancing with the Stars, and you got beat by your wife
You've done every reality show, and that's the last stop in life
I'm juggling five projects, my life is stressful
You're only busy making O-Town seem successful
You're the Justin of your band, could have hoisted the cup
But you failed, so I guess your Timberlake dried up