My friends were having a party
I felt something strange was starting
And it's much too late to stop

Drank so much Jägermeister
I told the coffee table that I liked her
And took her in my arms

We played "cocaine on the lawn"
Nobody had any clothes on
Except for the motorcycle helmets

And after the sun did rise
I was taken by surprise
I was burned out beyond belief

Had to pick myself off the floor
My mother was at the door
Selling Watchtower magazines

I couldn't believe it was true
Hey mom I thought you were a Jew
Why are you selling Watchtower magazines?

After she came in
She stepped in a bowl of vomit
Wiped it on some guy's face
I must have been on god's shitlist
My ma was a Jehovah's witness
Had to buy a subscription just to make her leave

I had to pick myself off the floor
My mother was at the door
Selling Watchtower magazines

Her prayers were much too frequent
After all that shock treatment
Now she's selling Watchtower magazines

Na na na na... Na na naaa na na na...
Na na na na... Na na naaa na na na...
Na na na na... Na na naaa na na na...