VELCRO
To me it's quite clear
He has to be queer
But I’ll admit they're getting harder to spot
Unless they're screaming out and proud
Or singing show tunes way too loud
I wouldn’t like to say who's into what

It's hard to tell
The gay guys from the straight these days
It's hard to tell
The princes from the queens

Every bar in Soho
That once was strictly no-go
Now falls somewhere betwixt
With a clientele that's mixed!

It's hard to tell
The gay guys from the straight these days
It's hard to tell
The homos from the hets

He's hotter than wasabi
But does he love Ken or Barbie?
Well I’m not placing any bets
Head to toe in Gucci
Acting rather smoochy
Seems the type for pulling birds
Then in conversation
Comes a revelation:
He is mincing more than just his words...

ROBBIE
It’s hard to tell
The gay guys from the straight these days
It's hard to tell
The benders from the butch

Both play Casanova
Which bowls a maiden over
That’s fine for tea and chat
But for which team does he bat?

It's hard to tell
The gay guys from the straight these days
It's hard to tell
Your one in every ten

Some love topless strippers
Others dream of ruby slippers
Well ain't that typical of men?
Quite the disco bunny
Tans when it’s not sunny
Looks as if he's worth a fling
Jeans he has to squeeze on
Abs you could grate cheese on
Then you see he wears a wedding ring...

VELCRO
A wedding ring
Don't mean a thing!

COMPANY
It's hard to tell
The gay guys from the straight these days
It's hard to tell...
Scanning their reflection
For the slightest imperfection

VELCRO AND ROBBIE
If wrinkles dare to show
They'll moisturize them

COMPANY
So
It's hard to tell
The gay guys from the straight these days
It's hard to tell
Which way the bearing glides
Making sure they're pretty
For a night out on the city
VELCRO AND ROBBIE
Where both have one thing on their mind

COMPANY
Where both have one thing on their mind