NARRATOR (spoken)
Old Compton Street, Soho. That promiscuous potpourri. That
Metropolitan muniicence. That glittering back passage. It’s
7pm on a fairly ordinary Spring evening. Theatregoers rub
Shoulders with prostitutes. Local businessman, on their way
Home, are having one last drink as they collide with a younger
Crowd arriving for their first. Chelle, a rickshaw cyclist, is shouting for business

SIDESADDLE
Join the party on Old Compton Street
Feel the pavement throb beneath your feet
Take a seat
Watch the show
Nothing's normal on Old Compton Street
Dress informal as you jump aboard
Step inside
Urges will be satisfied
Here where life is sweet
Old Compton Street

NARRATOR (spoken)
A young girl, Velcro, is making her way through the throng to her place of work, the launderette, Soho Sit and Spin

VELCRO
Life’s a circus on Old Compton Street
Punks and rockers and the rich elite
Drink and eat
Side by side
COMPANY
Fun’s contagious on Old Compton Street
It’s outrageous
There are boys for boys
Boys for girls
Boys for old men wearing pearls
No one’s obsolete
Old Compton Street

NARRATOR (spoken)
Elsewhere, Velcro’s best friend, Robbie, emerges from a doorway

LORD BELLINGHAM (spoken)
So, when will I see you again?

ROBBIE (spoken)
You’ve got my number. Just call anytime you want

LORD BELLINGHAM (spoken)
I'll do just that. I like having you around. Don't forget this

ROBBIE
Within this melting pot
Some have and some have not
A pizza base you stumble upon
With everything on
COMPANY
Every flavour

ROBBIE AND COMPANY
Try a slice of life Old Compton Street
See the flies that swarm around the meat
Trick or treat
Who can say?

NARRATOR (spoken)
We join Dana and Clodagh outside the Soho Gentlemen’s Club, which they run. They are sisters. They are ugly

DANA (spoken)
Shut it

CLODAGH (spoken)
Where have you been?

ROBBIE (spoken)
College

CLODAGH (spoken)
College? Who do you think you are, Carol Sodding Vorderman? You work for your lodging, in case you’ve forgotten

DANA (spoken)
He’d forget his balls if they weren’t in a bag
CLOGAGH (spoken)
Just ‘cuz dad’s in prison, doesn’t mean you can take the piss

DANA (spoken)
We’re too nice to him

ROBBIE (spoken)
Aren’t I lucky to have stepsisters like you, eh? Twins, not identical but equally unpleasant

DANA (spoken)
Oh clean the bogs

CLODAGH AND DANA
Pick your poison on Old Compton Street
Girls and boys on show

CLODAGH AND DANA AND COMPANY
And gay or straight or still unsure
Every taste is catered for
Here where all worlds meet
Old Compton Street

NARRATOR (spoken)
There’s a commotion outside The Prince Edward Theatre where “High School Musical 5 – Sex in Detention” is playing. James Prince, a London Mayoral candidate, and his fiancée Marilyn Platt arrive at the theatre

WILLIAM (spoken)
Here they are, right on cue

BIG ISSUE SELLER (spoken)
Big Issue. Big Issue

WILLIAM (spoken)
Here might be a better position

BIG ISSUE SELLER (spoken)
Big Issue, Big Issue

JAMES (spoken)
Damn. I haven’t got any change. But here’s a fiver

WILLIAM (spoken)
Job done

COMPANY
We love to spot celebrities
And nobody can blame us
Though all too often we forget
The reason why they’re famous
But rolling the red carpet out
Is bound to cause a buzz
And then we stop and rubberneck
Cos everybody does

Catch the rhythm of Old Compton Street
Where the bright young things turn up the heat
Pound the beat, no holds barred

SIDESADDLE
All cities have the same
One street that knows no shame
A bright facade whose surface is thin
But hard as a nail

SIDESADDLE AND COMAPNY
Scratch it and sniff
But never inhale

COMPANY
Heads are turning on Old Compton Street
Ears are burning while the endless stream passes by
Rainbow flags are flying high
Try a slice of life
Every vice is rife
Here where all worlds meet
Old Compton Street