[ORIN]
When I was younger, just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shooting puppies with a BB gun
I'd poison guppies and when I was done
I'd find a pussy cat and bash in its head
That's when my momma said

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
What did she say?

[ORIN]
She said "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay"

You'll be a dentist

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
You'll be a dentist

[ORIN]
You have a talent for causing things pain

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Pain
[ORIN]
Son, be a dentist

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Son, be a dentist

[ORIN]
People will pay you to be inhumane

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Inhumane

[ORIN]
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less

[ORIN, CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Son, be a dentist
You'll be a success

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE, spoken]
Here he is, girls, the leader of the plaque
Watch him suck up that gas oh my God
He's a dentist and he'll never, ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquee de Sade?
Oh, that hurts, I'm not numb
[ORIN]
Oh shut up, open wide, here I come

I am your dentist

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Oh, goodness gracious

[ORIN]
And I enjoy the career that I picked

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
You love it

[ORIN]
I am your

[ORIN, CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Dentist

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
He embraced it

[ORIN]
And I get off on the pain I inflict
[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
You really love it!

[ORIN]
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Don't try it

[ORIN]
It swells and they tell me I'm mad
I'm just a

[ORIN, CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Dentist

[ORIN]
And though it may cause my patients distress

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Distress

[ORIN]
Somewhere, somewhere in Heaven above me
I know, I know my momma's proud of me
'Cause I'm a

[ORIN, CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Dentist

[ORIN]
And a success
Say ahhh

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Ahhh

[ORIN]
Say ahhh

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Ahhh

[ORIN]
Say ahhh

[CHIFFON, CRYSTAL & RONETTE]
Ahhh

[ORIN]
Now... spit