[Verse 1: Shirley Simms]
I want to be a playboy's bunny
I'd do whatever they asked me to
I'd meet people with lots of money
And men would love me like I loved you

[Verse 2: Shirley Simms]
I want to be a topless waitress
I want my mother to shed one tear
I'd throw away this old sedate dress
Slip into something a tad more sheer

[Verse 3: Shirley Simms]
I want to be an artist's model
An odalisque, au naturel
I should be good at spin-the-bottle
While I've still got something left to sell

[Verse 4: Shirley Simms]
I want to be a cobra dancer
With Little Willy between my thighs
I may not find a cure for cancer
But I'll meet plenty of single guys

[Verse 5: Shirley Simms]
I want to be a brothel worker
I've always been treated like one
If I could be a back-street lurker
I'd make more money and have more fun
[Verse 6: Shirley Simms]
I want to be a dominatrix
Which isn't like me, but I can dream
Learn S&M and all those gay tricks
And men will pay me to make them scream

[Verse 7: Shirley Simms]
I want to be a porno starlet
For that, I'll wait till Mama's dead
I'd see my name in lights of scarlet
And get to spend every day in bed

[Verse 8: Shirley Simms]
I want to be a tattooed lady
Dedicated, as I am, to art
Characters bold, complex, and shady
Will write my memoirs across my heart