Oh, the word's on the street, you've found someone new
If he looks nothing like me, I'm so happy for you
I heard an old girlfriend has turned to the church
She's trying to replace me but it'll never work

'Cos every touch reminds you of
Just how sweet it could have been
And every time he kisses you
It leaves behind the bitter taste of saccharin

A bad cover version of love is not the real thing
Bikini-clad girl on the front who invited you in
Such great disappointment when you got him home
The original was so good, the one you no longer own

And every touch reminds you of
Just how sweet it could have been
And every time he kisses you
You get the taste of saccharin
It's not easy to forget me
It's so hard to disconnect
When it's electronically reprocessed
To give a more life-like effect

Ah, sing your song
About all the sad imitations that got it so wrong
It's like a later Tom and Jerry
When the two of them could talk
Like the Stones since the eighties
Like the last days of Southfork
Like Planet of the Apes on TV
The second side of 'Til the Band Comes In
Like an own-brand box of cornflakes
He's going to let you down my friend