[Verse 1]
I know a girl who thinks of ghosts
She'll make you breakfast, she'll make you toast
But she don't use butter, and she don't use cheese
She don't use jelly, or any of these

[Refrain]
She uses Vaseline
Vaseline
Vaseline

[Verse 2]
And I know a guy who goes to shows
When he's at home and he blows his nose
He don't use tissues or his sleeve
He don't use napkins or any of these

[Refrain]
He uses magazines
Magazines
Magazines
Magazines

[Verse 3]
I know a girl who reminds me of Cher (Reminds me of Cher)
She's always changing (She's always changing)
The color of her hair (Color of her hair)
But she don't use nothing (She don't use nothing)
That you buy at the store (That you buy at the store)
She likes her hair (She likes her hair to)
To be real orange (Be real orange)
[Refrain]
She uses tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines