Oh, little girl!
Would you like a sweetie?
Would you put your hand in mine?
I promise not to hurt you
Or impinge upon your virtue
All I want is half a second of your time

Oh, little girl!
Won't you smile into the camera?
This time I know we'll get the perfect shot
Now do you think that it would hurt
If you just undid your shirt
And show the readers everything you've got?

Little girl
You really mustn't worry
No one will respect you any less
When all is said and done
You know it's just a bit of fun
Now be a sport, take off that pretty dress

Little girl
Can't you see now you are famous!
Your name is on the nation's lips
Over breakfast, they'll admire you
At their lunch hour, they'll desire you
And at tea time, you'll be wrapping up their chips!
Little girl
Congratulations on your record!
They played it on the wireless just today
It was fast and rather naughty
Went straight in at number forty
Though the DJ said that's where it ought to stay

Little girl
So you got married to a pop-star!
I can hardly work my camera for the tears
But as you said your fond goodbyes
I got a great one of your thighs!
What a shame you were divorced within a year

Little girl
You're not a girl and you're not little
But there's still one thing I'd love it if you'd do:
Although she's slightly shorter
I would love to meet your daughter
Do you think that she would like to follow you?
Do you think that she would like to follow you?