[Intro]
(Thank you so much, Bandy!)

[Chorus]
I got in a fight with a parrot
Accidentally jumped off a skyscraper and broke both of my legs
I tried to let her give me head until she bit off my dick
I ain't had no fucking house so I slept in a ditch
I ain't saying I'm Timmy Turner but I'm about to make a wish
I bought a Popeyes sandwich and then I took a shit
My sister got in a fight and got hit with a brick
Somebody told me that I look like a weasel
Crawled on somebody wall backwards, they thought I was a creepy-crawly
Somebody had sex with a bug, they call it, "In-sex"
I wrapped my whole body up in bubble wrap
I shot an airball in the game winner and they kicked me off the team

[Verse]
I went home and ate some ravioli out the microwave
I tried to include the mailman to get my mail early
I met this one fat girl, her name was Big Shirley
I got my hair cut by a dude named Wanda

[Chorus]
I got in a fight with a parrot
Accidentally jumped off a skyscraper and broke both of my legs
I tried to let her give me head until she bit off my dick
I ain't had no fucking house so I slept in a ditch
I ain't saying I'm Timmy Turner but I'm about to make a wish
I bought a Popeyes sandwich and then I took a shit
My sister got in a fight and got hit with a brick
Somebody told me that I look like a weasel
Crawled on somebody wall backwards, they thought I was a creepy-crawly
Somebody had sex with a bug, they call it, "In-sex"
I wrapped my whole body up in bubble wrap
I shot an airball in the game winner and they kicked me off the team